A Curse and Gift

I can't recall the first time I learned how overly observant/sensitive I am. Some people even think I've been imagining, seeing things most people don't even know occurred. The lesser the number of people noticing the things I've been noticing, the more I doubt my ability to read people's actions, body language, and their change of mood and aura.

It could just be my imagination or own perception of things, they say. While that could be true, the times when I read things correctly are higher than those that I resorted to believing I  imagined it.

This is a gift. To read people actions, their body language, and their change of mood and aura. Often times, I use this to coax the receiver of a bad joke while the sender was busy with everything else except for noticing that s/he'd hurt the feelings of the one s/he's talking to. I like that I can do that. That I can show people that someone can read them, understand their change in mood, and make them feel better by telling them that the sender doesn't mean it, or to tell them to accept that things are simply just the way they are.

This is a curse. By being overly observant and sensitive, I tend to be extra careful and lose myself for a second in the process. I want to be me all the time, but certain people can't handle that and I have to contain myself lest I want to hurt them purposefully. I don't want that. I won't feel good about that.

This is a curse. Feeling someone's negative aura is something I am not entirely thankful for. But then again, this is a gift as well. Feeling someone special to me's negative aura allows me to comfort them when they needed it the most.