Talk: How Difficult Is It To Do?

(Image source: http://www.hutoko-tisaku.biz/)

If you try and search for the importance of talking on the world wide web, you’ll find plenty articles. Some of them talks about the importance of talking to children (helps with their learning, speaking, and listening development), while some focuses on relieving one's stress.

Yes, talking relieves people of stress.

One article said that talking when you’re stressed helps clear your mind. In turn, you get to hear other people's opinion on the matter which allows you to see the issue in another perspective. Hopefully, you’d get to learn how to handle the matter at hand by listening to another mind. 

The idea of discussing about talking to people came when an incident happened at home. One misunderstanding that could’ve been avoided had the other party talk to the other.

Misunderstandings. How many of these have we experienced in our lifetime? I think it’s safe to assume that there’ve been a lot already. Some of them benign while some large enough to cost a relationship -- both romantic and platonic.

Once, I’ve experienced being misunderstood. I hated it. But the worst part is that no talking was done. Apologies were offered which I accepted (sa ngalan ng pinagsamahan). But the damage has been done. I’ve been hurt and no soothing words, explaining what happened, played as a comforting balm to any of the scratches. I let it slide. Moved on with my life.

Even before then, I believe that talking will resolve things. Since, I think college, I’ve been trying to be a better version of myself every day. With this mission comes the oath to always try and step in the shoes of other people in hopes of understanding their thoughts and opinions on things. By doing this, I relieve myself from hating on people because of what they do and what they say. Putting myself in their shoes allowed me to make myself understand the intention behind the words and the actions. Hate what they say or do, understand people.

According to a website: 

"Sharing your burden can often help lighten the load, and knowing that you have someone to talk things through and discuss your issues with can often promote a far more upbeat and positive feeling. Bottling things up and letting the stress fester is the worst thing that you can do, as this fails to solve anything and simply enhances the stress.

Many people are frightened to talk things through because they think that discussing their problems is a sign of weakness. However, it is actually the opposite - talking shows that you want to find an effective solution, that you are prepared to look at all options and that you are not too proud to ask for help in times of need.

Talking about the issues and problems that are causing you to become stressed is a healthy and effective way of channeling your emotions and promoting a far more positive outlook through a network of support and understanding. This support will help to remedy any feelings of isolation and can help reduce stress levels considerably."


Whenever I get the chance, I tell people to talk, communicate, and tell the other party what their thoughts are, so the other would understand their points of view. This is what I've been doing and is pleased with how easily people can talk to me, knowing that I usually think things through before giving my 2 cents on the matter.


Even my 1 year-old niece, I've been teaching her to tell me what she wants and not just scream and cry, expecting me to give her everything until she's satisfied. She can talk. Humans can talk. Why not make use of the greatest advantage we got as the top primate in the animal kingdom?

Death: How often do we talk about it?

(Image credit: http://www.mailman.columbia.edu/)

There were four of us: two women and two men, talking in the wee hours of the morning about death. Although one of those topics that people don’t usually talk about, for this group of people, there are no boundaries as to the topics that we can easily and so openly converse with. And so we talked about death.

The topic came about when the conversation has been led to our grandmother, our beloved Nanay, and her ongoing payment for her gravesite. Uh-huh. She already bought a land where she wishes her remains to be laid at after she leaves this world. Where would she go after? I always wonder.

My younger brother, sitting on my left, voiced out how much he felt bad after Nanay told him of her latest purchase. Of us three, he’s the one closest to Nanay as he is the youngest and the one that received the most affection from the good old woman. This is not to say that we don’t adore her that much, my older brother and I. We do. It’s just that we have a different mindset and approach on things. When Nanay told me about this, the thought that came to mind was, “she’s being practical, planning ahead of time, and tending to things that we all know will happen in the years to come.”

So then, he talked about how heavy his heart felt when Nanay started talking to him about her permanent residence six feet under the cold, damp earth. We talked to him about this and tried to coax him. Our mother in front of me and our older brother on my right. We sort of formed a square or a diamond, depending on which angle you look at. But we’re there and we’re talking, sharing our thoughts about the matter at hand.

We told him that it’s reality and that Nanay is simply being realistic. He interjected that even so, he still doesn’t feel good about it, saying the he didn’t know what to reply to her at that exact time. He merely listened to her talk, describing where she would be laid and how easy it would be for us to spot her.

Then Mama told us about the story when she was seven years old and Nanay gave her instructions on what my mother, young as she is, should do once Nanay died. Nanay showed her the dress she wishes to wear in her deathbed, and strictly ordered Mama that people attending her wake shouldn’t gamble. Three days after, they should bury her. Those were her instructions. I can only imagine the thoughts running inside my then 7-year-old mom. Mama told us what she told Nanay right then. Mama told her mother that it’s not her time to die yet. When Nanay asked why that is so, Mama replied, “Pa’no na ‘ko ‘pag namatay ka? Sino mag-aalaga sa’ken?” This almost made my eyes water. They didn’t. But the message came across.

Mama shared this story so that my younger brother would feel better about Nanay’s decision to pre-purchase her gravesite. I think it helped but I also know that the fear in our hearts, of the time when it would really be Nanay’s time to go, now holds tighter. She’s 79 and she’s got a heart condition. Though she’s stable and able bodied, we don’t want to even start imagining a life without her.

Now that we’ve passed the sad part of the conversation, we moved on to our own wishes for when it’s our time to lay flat in our coffins.

Kuya came first and said that he’d prefer to be cremated. Three days after, we are to scatter his ashes. Mama interjected that cremation is inhumane; mutely saying that she wouldn’t want that for her son. Kuya insisted that that’s what he wants and I went on his side and told Mama that it’s Kuya’s body and that he should have the final word about the matter. This here, is another great thing I love about my family. We can tell each other anything, they would share their thoughts about it, but would still respect the decisions we make.

Not sure if it’s just for the laughs or he’s really serious about it, but my younger brother shared that he wish to be laid in the coffin with both his arms crossed behind his head, his ankles crossed against each other. We were all laughing as he was showing us the position he wants to be in. I am laughing right now as I recall the scene. Silly boy. I asked him if he’s serious about it and he said that, indeed, he is. We asked him why he wanted that and he, still laughing silly, said that it’s so people who sees him in his deathbed would laugh or at least smile and not cry over his leaving. He’s witty. I’ll give him that.

Mama spoke her side and said that all she wanted is for us to play the song “Telephone”. Not sure who sang this but I think it’s the one from Sarah Shannon.

And of course, I shared my 2 cents on the matter. Hehe. My death fantasies are easy. I’m not to be embalmed, buried after three days, (though Mama said that un-embalmed bodies should be buried the next day at the latest), so there, I am not to be embalmed, buried the next day, and that’s it.

I plan to design my funeral dress too! I want to look good in my deathbed. Although I wish that people would remember me more for my smiles and silly laughter.

People stay away from the topic of death because it’s sad and it’s morbid. But it’s real. It’s one of the realest things in this world. I understand Nanay. She only wants to make sure that we wouldn’t have difficulties arranging her funeral when the time comes. Thinking about it, I should’ve told her that we should’ve bought lands for all of us, so we can lie beside each other. I didn’t. But I wish I had.

We will never know when our time will come. It’s sad to think about dying. Yes, sad, not scary. I’m not scared of death. Don’t call me names for saying that because it’s true. For me, death is simply sleeping without waking up. Maybe the process from which you will receive death is scary but not death, no not death itself.

Death is sad. Just thinking about not being able to be with the people I love, losing the privilege to hear their laughter, see their smiles, exchange stories with them, makes me really sad. But I know that my time will come. The people I care about, their time will come too. There’s no stopping it. There’s nothing we can do about it. If there is something we can do, it’s to live each day to its fullest.


Keeping in mind that this might be the last time you will say goodbye to your officemates after work, your classmates after school time, the last time you’ll exchange hellos with your former classmates, workmates, or neighbors, will create a whole lot of difference on how you will value your time here on earth and affect how you interact with people.

The thought of losing something makes us appreciate and treasure them more.

Live for today but always feel mighty excited for tomorrow. *wink wink*

Pulp Summer Slam XV: 1 of 25,000

If you’'re not able to attend this year'’s Pulp Summer Slam, here are some great (actually the most vital) things you missed.

1.       Cradle of Filth.

2.       Slapshock.

3.       Greyhoundz.

4.       Quezo.

Self-explanatory so it would be totally redundant to try and give an explanation. Basta kung hindi ka nakapunta, kawawa ka naman. HAHAHAHA.

Apri 25, 2015, people who had a mute agreement to wear black for the event are marching one by one though together towards a specific direction: Amoranto Stadium.

For us, meaning my two brothers and I, the craze started since 2007: Pulp Summer Slam 7 Deadly Sins, although the event has been running since 2001. The event proudly carries the banner of being the longest running and largest metal festival in Southeast Asia.

To have an idea of how large really the crowd of Pulp Summer Slam is, check this photo out:

This was taken during The World Alive’s set at a little past 6pm. Note that this isn'’t even a quarter of the crowd. And yes, I'm blaming my short limbs for this. One of the hosts announced that the crowd actually numbered to roughly 25,000 people. In.Sane!

For 9 years, (8 for me since I bailed out on last year’'s event because of laziness) my two brothers and I kept on coming, enjoying, and jamming with this great crowd of people sharing one great thing in common: love for live music.

I noticed a lot of changes with the whole event during those 9 years of attendance. Before, there’'d be more people wearing costumes and expressing their selves in such entertaining and uniquely-Pulp Summer Slam way.

Last night though, I only got to take a photo of this one:

I saw three more people wearing costumes. 2 are wearing masks while the other wore Strawhat Luffy'’s infamous strawhat.

Not just the crowd but the setup has also changed. We used to watch over 30 bands in one night, from 12nn until 4am the next day, or was it 3? The transition of the bands is remarkable which made me wonder why Pulp couldn'’t do the same anymore for the last 4 years.

For this year, the bands that played are Godzilla vs Tokyo, Wilabaliw, Kjwan, Razorback, Nobela, the awesome awesome Chthonic, The World Alive, Escape the fucking Fate, sobrang astig na trio – Greyhoundz, Quezo, and Slapshock; Carcass, napakalupet na Cradle of Filth, Killswitch Engage, and Suffocation.

15 bands. Less than half the number of bands that used to play for Pulp years back and yet it was already 2am and 2 more bands are yet to play. What happened? Is it because when the massive collection of band lineup went, they took efficient transition along with it too? I don’t like it, obviously. Although I don'’t really miss that many bands playing where most of them I don'’t really like, I would love it if the efficiency I admired before could be experienced by the newer generation of Pulp goers today. I want them to experience that and not suffer from waiting for almost an hour for a band to set up. Uh-huh. An hour.

Enough with my rants, I wanna say next that I find it amusing to find young blood join the wild crowd of Pulp. I feel like a proud mother. Heh.

I like that Pulp released a “schedule” for each band and print it with the ticket. Thanks to that, I saved myself from the brutal Philippine summer heat that most of my fellow Pulp goers (my brothers included) had to endure. Since I was only after the trio: SlapQuezoHoundz and Cradle of Filth, I opted to leave the house at past 3pm, expecting to arrive at the venue by as late as 5:30pm. That'’s still early for the trio'’s stage but I was also thinking about the supply of freebies going dry if I delay my arrival further. And so, I got inside the venue, got my free Red Horse beer, got my free Pulp Magazine, settled in between the huge crowd, and contacted my brothers.

Man, my alcohol tolerance really did drop after deciding to quit some 6 years ago. I already got tipsy even before I could finish that cup. (Obviously, I didn’'t entirely quit since I still drink at special occasions).

If you’'re looking for a blog that would give fair critic on the musicality of each band that played, then I think you already know by now that this is not the blog you’'re looking for.

Without considering whether you’'re on the right blog or not, I’'m gonna jump straight to my point of interest.

Greyhoundz.

When the band got on stage and started playing their songs every fans know by heart, it was chaos! The crowd started jumping up and down, screaming their throats out, and singing along with the band. I couldn’'t stop the smile from spreading across my face.

Pulp committed a huge HUGE mistake by signing Colt 45 and taking out Slapshock, Greyhoundz, and Quezo from the list of performers along with it. But at least they got to correct that mistake now.

We all enjoyed Pig Face, Shoot to Kill, Doble Kara, and Apoy. Oh man, oh man, was it awesome!

Quezo.

Don'’t kill me if I say that I don'’t know much of Quezo'’s songs except for Insekta and Mottaka. (As if I’'d let you do it. Hah!)

So when the band was pleasing their legion of fans, ang mga Daga, I was simply bopping my head and enjoying the positive energy from the crowd. No other feeling like it when you'’re inside that huge crowd of people sharing that same passion and love for live OPM. Wonderful.

Slapshock.

I love Jamir. I love Chi, and the rest of the band (noticed any bias here?). Of the three, my favorite is Slapshock. My older brother prefers Quezo and the younger one, Greyhoundz.

It'’s Jamir’'s voice that sold the band to me. It’'s that voice that can swiftly, cleanly, and beautifully switch from clean tone to scream, growl, then clean tone again. I just love it!

They played Ngayon Na, Wake Up (to which I really went crazy at), Langit (where he made me fall in love all over again with his beautiful beautiful voice), and the song that would make every fans bad if they didn'’t jump off their feet, Cariño Brutal. 

Before leaving the stage after their set, Jamir thanked everyone:– Pulp management for having them back since 2009, and the crowd for being as awesome as they are. He also gave the jersey shirt he was wearing to a specific fan. Lucky.

Carcass came next and I will honestly admit that I’'m no fan of heavy metal. Despite that, I would still take my hat off and put my hands down for this band. They are simply uh.ma.zing! From the vocalist to the rest of the band, it’'s so easy to see that those people breathe and eat Metal!

After them came Cradle of Filth. I’'m not happy to say that it took almost an hour to set the stage for this band. This is what I’'ve been ranting earlier about the lost efficiency when it comes to transition. I may not know what'’s happening back and onstage but should it really take that long? It'’s frustrating.

Oh no, actually, it only takes long with foreign bands. I remembered, I think it was 2009 when the crowd started throwing empty Pepsi bottles (in some cases not so empty) towards the stage after waiting for over an hour with nothing but a huge lit screen to stare at. What’'s up with that?

With Cradle that night though, I think it'’s the electric fans that took the longest to set up. I mean, come on, where do you get two electric fans with matching red color nowadays, right? That’'s so freakin'’ rare to find!

But I gotta give it to the band. After making us wait for almost an hour (although I know this isn’'t really entirely their fault), they also left us all amazed and in great awe after playing for us for an hour!

Cradle of Filth playing for a straight hour is simply awesome because Philippine summer heat and leather outfit would make anyone suffer especially if they come from a cold country. Well I’'m sure they have their fair share of hot summer times too but I don’'t think they regularly have summer times c/o a tropical country, no?

Kudos to the band for keeping the appearance. Last 2012 when Arch Enemy was here, vocalist Angela Gosow went out with a leather jacket on but decided to take it off after a few songs -– the heat is just that great.

But for Cradle, especially Mr. Filth, real metal heads don'’t feel uncomfortable with the heat nor their makeup washing off.

His voice.. Oh my.. It’'s like listening to a record. It'’s just that awesome!

I know I stated earlier that I'’m no fan of heavy metal but Cradle of Filth is one of the exceptions. I learned about this band through my older brother. Actually, it’'s my two brothers that really influenced me with this type of music genre. I think I owe something big from them, huh? Heh.

Nymphetamine was the only song I know from the band so when they played it that night, I was truly ecstatic. And again, it was just like a record. I urge you to search for fan videos of this event. And trust me, there would be A LOT! This same reason got my older brother pissed. He was trying to get near the stage to enjoy the music better but was totally annoyed after seeing that apparently, almost everyone near the pit have their arms stretched up (not to cheer for the band but to take videos/photos). *Shaking my head* What happened to you, Philippine concert scene? *Crying blood now* (if that’'s possible for a non-saint/miraculous being like me).

Another reason why Cradle is awesome: Their guitarist’'s hair! No matter how much he bop his head, twirl his hair, with just one flip, it'’s all okay. What’s your shampoo, dude? Mehehe.

Do you want me to tell you why it'’s sad for you if you weren'’t able to attend this year'’s Summer Slam? It'’s because after 5 long years, Slapshock, Greyhoundz and Quezo came back to Pulp. This is also the most viable reason for the thickness of the crowd this year. Through years of attending the event, that was the thickest I’'ve seen. I love it!

And do you also wanna know why you should feel bad if you weren'’t able to attend Pulp Summer Slam last 2007? It'’s because those three great bands I mentioned right above this paragraph shared the same stage AT THE SAME TIME! *insert evil laughter with hands clawing up here* 

Oh, and here are my Summer Slam buddies - my two brothers. :)